“They Said…”
Hear me out…
'They' said I’ll cry all year. 'They' said it’ll be a hard one and you’ll find yourself weeping without warning. 'They' said to cherish the moments because they go by quickly. Well, hear me out…'THEY' are right.
I just finished writing a letter to my daughter (shhh, don’t tell her - it’s a secret). She is a senior in high school and graduates so soon. I’ve made it through the senior kick off event, senior breakfast, senior nights at sporting events, senior celebration for theater. But who knew the moment that would undo me would be sitting alone, pen in hand, writing to the daughter who made me a mother. It wasn’t the events or the milestones that got me — it was the quiet truth that she’s no longer becoming someone. She already is.
It caused me to stop and reflect on our life together. From the beginning when I was in such shock that I was pregnant and my husband having to encourage me through that very difficult pregnancy—to now, just a short month away from her graduation and only a few months from her moving out.
'They' tried to warn me. “It goes by SO fast,” 'they' said. And it does. I look at her now. Eighteen. An adult?! What? How? When? Is this how my mom felt?
My letter recalls early times together but really reflects on the person she is now. She is strong. Brave. Very strategic and thoughtful. Fiercely loyal. Fights for justice. She is wildly creative and loves beauty. She is competitive. She is silly and so funny. And best of all - she loves the God who designed her exactly as she is. Somewhere along the way, the days stopped being about teaching her who to be and started being about witnessing who she already is.
“Don’t wish the time away — it’ll be gone before you know it” 'they' said. Hear me out…'they' aren’t wrong.
Early on, I started shifting the phrase “I can’t wait until…” to “I’m excited to see …” or something similar. I had to move from living outside the now to living in the now. I will NOT wish this time away. I will live in these moments.
I am sure I will cry again before the school year is out. I am confident tears will flow when I least expect it. I know I will feel deeply the joy, excitement, and ache that comes with watching a child grow up—learning, changing, making mistakes, finding success, feeling both pain and joy. Yes, the tears will come. I will hug her tightly. I will whisper “I love you.” And I will hope that through all my less-than-perfect mom moments, she will look back and say, “My mom loved me fiercely and I loved my childhood.”
I may not have made you laugh today but I hope you were able to feel today.
So hear me out…live in the now. Maybe you’re in your own ‘good old days’ right now, without even realizing it. In the words from Andy Bernard from The Office “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve left them.”
So what’s the moment you’re living in today?
That’s all for now my friends.
Your Strengths Coach - Mary H.
